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Lickmyapp requires no download and encourages users to improve their oral skills with a choice of three different games, you can flick a light switch on and off, turn a crank or go freestyle – where you bounce a beach ball. You also have to remember to wrap your phone for protection first because it’s supposedly crawling with bacteria, yuck.

Platewave bills itself as “the social network for UK drivers” and lets you message anyone, as long as you’ve got their vehicle registration number.

A basic ‘Weekend Cassanova’ membership costs £225 per month, or you can splash out on the top level ‘International Playboy’ profile costing a mere £903 per month.

Convince singles that spending time with you is worth it by making them an offer that they simply cannot refuse” It’s like The Godfather – but you know, for lonely, desperate creeps.You might think you’re pretty good in bed, but if you’re someone who often wonders just how well you compare to others during sex, now you can check those crippling insecurities with Passion!This app measures how well you perform during sex and gives you a rating from 0-10, ten being the highest, zero being very depressing.A bit like Snapchat, the app timecaps your encounters, only letting you search for available and interested people near you for one hour.Unlike Tinder, the app doesn’t force you to link to your Facebook or other social network presence, meaning internet evidence of your shameful hour of need is minimal.Simply choose which of your friends you want the site to send you notifications about when there’s a change in their relationship status.

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