In dating, disappointment exists in the form of breaking up.In marriage and parenting, the disappointments and pains can be much more devastating, and sometimes even permanent.There is only one honest thing to say when the weight of dating uncertainty weighs heavy: “We don’t know.” We must confess that, to the experience of besetting and anxious uncertainty in dating, there isn’t an answer or at least not a concrete and immediate answer.Maybe the whole point of dating — and the fact that Scripture says so little about it — is that we don’t know what we’re doing, we can’t do it well (alone), and it isn’t sustainable.We are tempted to earn and secure love by our own power, and tempted to test others’ worthiness for our love.And yet we have a God who passionately endorses marriage as the norm for people, and is actively seeking to bless us.The uncertainty of dating highlights for us the immanent possibility of blessing and tragedy.
I once heard someone pray, “We pray against a closed sky.” It may be easy for some to feel ignored in the abyss of uncertainty. Many attempts to resolve this tension result in a self-pandering theology.
If you've ever raised a teenage girl, then you can really appreciate this piece of advice.
We have two daughters and it seemed they fell in love as quickly as the seasons changed.
Understanding that anxiety is a proper reaction to the unsettled angst of an unfulfilled and covenantally unprotected relationship is the best starting place.
We can say a dating relationship is protected and settled and safe, but it isn’t — no matter what dating philosophy one adheres to, the emotional escalation of dating leads either to a breakup or a marriage.
Indulging in anxiety in a dating relationship is like indulging in back-seat driving: It only makes everyone else more nervous and annoyed and doesn’t actually contribute anything positive.