If you can communicate with someone in a language that you both feel comfortable with, it makes being with that person easier.In Africa, those who speak the same language have a similar culture.And why was it better to date a white person rather than another African?Some field digging I did a bit of digging to get the views of other people of African origin on intercultural dating.“Dating is one thing, but marriage is another”, an aunty told me. Marriage and dating are two different things, clearly, but which factors are fundamental when deciding whom to marry? Love is love, as one of the respondents said, but is it better to stay within cultural boundaries to save ourselves from the potential future troubles that might result from mixing cultures – as some elders advice – or should one ignore boundaries and deal with issues if they arise? Having to decide which culture my children followed more or which one was dominant in my household is another consideration, as I find it important for reasons of identity.African parents, don’t joke with them Young and not-yet-married Nowadays, in this current generation of young-and-not-yet-married, or recently married, we don’t so much as bat an eyelid when we see mixed couples, but as one uncle put it to me, “Where would you live when you retire? If you married a Nigerian, how would you cope if he wanted to retire in Nigeria? Parents’ generation In our parents’ generation we know marrying within their own culture – even tribe – was paramount as they tried to maintain cultural cohesion and identity.
In fact I wasn’t into my own culture as much because I grew up along a lot of other nationalities, in what I call “London culture”. Love blinds common sense.” “No Nigerian, Ghanaian or Jamaican man is welcome in my house. Why is it better for me to be with a white man than it is to be with a Nigerian? How many marriages do you know of people from two different African countries that have lasted till old age? I pondered those phrases: “It’s for your own good” and “stick to your own”. Stop wasting your time; you’ll regret it when you get older. It’s for your own good”, said her mother, adamantly.Some responses: “Love is love.” Jennifer (23), Angolan “I would only prefer to date a Congolese man because we both understand each others cultures.The connection is just better because we can relate in many ways since we’ve had a similar upbringing.” Sarah (24), Congolese “I love my Ghanaian brothers, especially those who can speak my tribal language. Especially when telling jokes, it just doesn’t sound the same in English.” Nana (24), Ghanaian “I will be with anyone as long as they are compatible to me and I’m attracted to them. I’m British.” Christopher (28), Nigerian “As long as they are not Jamaican.” Bijoux (28), Congolese “Dating someone from your own background has far more positives than dating someone from another background, such as cultural understanding, speaking the same language etc. I’ve brought a Nigerian, Jamaican and Congolese home.Outside our homes, we spoke the same street language, ate the same type of food, listened to the same type of music and were attracted to the same type of guys (or girls).