In fact they get more intelligent -- they learn more and so on. But there's always society saying: Well, you know, she's not acting her age, she's looking foolish, she's being taken for her money. But the cougar, what she offers, generally, is a lot of fun. Particularly the baby boomers are not going to disappear. His job took him to New York and I couldn't go and we tried long distance. And, in fact, the relationship between an older woman and a younger man breaks up generally at her behest because she decides. Good sex and great relationships are not anything to do with looks in the end. All right, I know about Diana and [Camilla] was the mistress and all of that, but even if it wasn't like that, they would still condemn her because they feel she looks like the back of a bus and she's old and why can't he have a nice [girl] like Diana? [Laughs] Men, particularly of older ages, have never liked the idea of older women being in control. The whole of society resents women -- especially older women -- who have a lot of control. Actually the reaction to the book has been younger men. They want what they want and they're moving everything from health to attitudes to sexuality and they're saying: Excuse me, this is me. She says: Look, it's time you maybe had a family or whatever. Because they get terribly besotted with their older women and want to stay with them forever but there is that whole thing of babies and family and the mid-life crisis of the young man, maybe. It always irritates me when people say: You know, she's going to get older and saggy and... Because, as you know, when you get into a relationship with someone and you adore them or the sex is fabulous or whatever it is, you're not looking and saying: Oh, but look at the damn wrinkles! It may start out that way, but it's all to do with a lot of other complex factors. Have many of these people stopped to think: Well how come this man has had a 27-year relationship -- or more -- with this woman and he's so besotted with her? That they have control of their sexual lives, particularly, is a real taboo. History is full of women having to do certain things to survive, to have a roof over their heads, to be looked after, whatever. Women now know what to do to look after themselves. Overwhelmingly younger men all want to know: Where can I meet these cougars? [Laughs] You've got to understand really that, for a lot of men, and I'm not saying young or old, their first experience -- a lot of older men have told me -- was with an older woman. Of having this lovely, sexy woman all over them like a rash. In fact there are more books out on incest -- can you believe that? They haven't got what the modern world takes in order to be valuable to society. They are valuable and older women today go into their 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s looking fantastic. In my opinion you're of more value and I try and tell women that. I'm already in a situation that is pretty beneficial if you're thinking along those lines, but even before I did this job, I never had a problem meeting men. And I was never afraid to go up and talk to a guy who was on his own and even years ago I would ring the guy and say: How are you doing? One of the reasons: they don't give a damn that you earn more money than they do. I wrote a book 10 years ago on a similar subject and you'd think I'd written something about incest. [Laughs] You know, it's not a question that as you age you're of less value. I resent it bitterly because they don't do the same to men.
The older woman learns from the younger man a helluva lot about what's happening in his world, which could be quite different from hers.
[Laughs] You see, that illustrates my point exactly. Sexuality is not looks and it's not body, it's all a way of being. All of the things that, in the old days, young women married for. One of the major things is: How to meet his mother.
When people get into relationships, especially young men when they have great sex -- or any man when he has great sex -- they're not thinking about whether or not she's got a stretch mark, they don't think about that. How you match up: compatibility and how much you like each other and get along. That you got together and pooled your resources or he had more money, well, they've got it. So they find with young men who haven't got a lot of money -- they haven't reached the peak of their careers yet -- that some people say: He's just after your money. Let's say you were single and let's say you were 41 or something.
At first take Cougar: A Guide For Older Women Dating Younger Men seems frivolous and perhaps even sexist. An older woman does not usually want children; she's probably got a couple. Doesn't want to do it again and may not even want marriage. -- than there is on this subject: older women dating younger men. They have everything: they have experience, they have knowledge, sophistication, they've learned so much, sexual skills particularly, when it comes to younger men. One of [the things I hear most in letters] is from guys who fear being rejected and they hate rejection. Dating includes rejection at every level, every age group no matter how beautiful you are. I've done my bit for marriage and the wedding cake business and all, I've done my bit. What I want now is someone who is supportive and can live with a media gal like myself. I'm out there on TV and doing many things and a lot of guys get competitive about that.
Do we, in this enlightened age, even need to spend time thinking about such things? Older man, younger woman and younger man, older woman. I find that horrifying because this is two single people enjoying each other, enjoying an alternative relationship, as they're known today -- and yet they're condemned for it. These are important things and they're misused by society [when women are] told they're not valuable. [Laughs] And they enjoy it [perhaps] more than younger people, because they know so much more. I just read somewhere that Brad Pitt got dumped by his first girlfriend. You can now: you can co-habit and nobody bothers about it. There was one husband, it was the second, I think, his parents said either we married or they cut him out of the will.
It could be very techie, it could be music, it could be anything. [Laughs] He was in Canada and I was there and I came over to be with him.