After dropping the “wheelchair bomb,” I’d have to brace myself for their reactions, which were always a mixed bag, often ranging from indifference to ghosting. One man that I connected with on Coffee Meets Bagel was incredibly apologetic when I first told him about my wheelchair, as though it was the most tragic thing he’d ever heard.I shut that down by explaining that my disability is part of who I am and it’s nothing to be sorry for.It was painful to realize that the hard part isn’t over once someone learns that I’m disabled.
I realize some people are hesitant to date a human who experiences the world sitting down.
When I found myself newly single, I turned to online dating in the hopes of easing my fears that no one else would ever accept me as I am, that lightning doesn’t strike twice. In this virtual world, I could pretend my disability didn’t exist.
Not one to be deterred, I persevered, downloading every possible dating app and creating accounts on various dating sites. I kept up with this facade for a while, messaging matches who were none the wiser.
A few months before my initial swipes, I’d gone through a messy breakup with a man I dated for over two years.
I truly believed he was the person I’d marry, and that I’d never have to worry about rejection again.
I eagerly began swiping, quickly matching with an attractive man whose profile picture showed him sporting an enormous iguana on his shoulder.