In general I’m always reluctant to recommend online dating to males (the statistical chances of success are usually terrible for males), however there’s a few Japan focused dating sites where the “interracial appeal” may balance the odds a little, and of course there’s Tinder app for some quick swipe action. “English Lessons.” Websites like Hello Sensei (etc) let you teach English by offering lessons under the table. About ⅔ of the men I “teach” English to don’t ask for a second lesson once they find out I’m married. As a result, a lot of times their communication can be unclear or vague.
Two other friends started dating guys they met at English lessons. And in fact, this vagueness, or “aimai” in Japanese, is a well-studied trait in Japanese communication which is designed to be somewhat ambiguous to preserve the “wa” or harmony.
Unfortunately, just getting the basic meaning across can be challenging enough.
You already know how important it is to keep communication simple, but in addition you want to make it interesting enough that even with no words at all, it’s worth paying attention to.
Martin says: There’s a trick question I often tell my (dating) clients: Q: When do you know if a Japanese girl will go on a date with you? Men assume foreign women are more outgoing and direct (which sucks when you aren’t).
The other really easy way to meet Japanese girls is through Language Exchanges.
These are one-on-one meets where you practice speaking Japanese with a native while they practice speaking English/French/German/Italian/Korean/etc with you.
Japanese are especially uncomfortable with really assertive styles of communication and easily feel bullied, so will often seem to be saying “yes” even when they mean no.
You’ll commonly notice this with service staff who despite the rigidness of most Japanese systems rarely give you a hard “no” to any request.
However, because so few foreigners live in Japan, their best chance of meeting one in their normal lives is if they get lucky enough to have a native English (or other language) speaking teacher in junior high or high school.