• Challenge your beliefs and self-defeating thoughts about your self-worth. • Remind yourself daily that it's healthy to accept help from others and a sign of strength rather than weakness.You don't need to prove anything to another person about your worth. Counseling, friendships, and online resources can be tremendously helpful to supporting you in your journey of finding a happy relationship.In a recent Huffington Post blog "Why Women Stay in Bad Marriages," author Allison Pescosolido writes, "Nothing erodes self-esteem quicker than an unhealthy relationship.Many women remain in dysfunctional marriages because they are convinced that this is what they deserve." In some cases, there is no need to end the relationship.I've learned that relationships can heal if people change.But in order to heal from an unhealthy pattern of codependency, it's important to regain control of your thoughts and make your needs a priority.Others may leave but repeat the same or a similar self-destructive pattern in a new relationship.The adrenaline rush that they experience when they feel passionate toward someone can be addictive.
They often feel self-assured and autonomous -- confident they can take care of themselves while others can't.And when her partner, Tyler, doesn't treat her well, or devalues her love, she wonders why she wasn't worth fighting for.She longs for a boyfriend who offers her love, security, and respect." Her answer was: "It's too hard to go through a breakup and to be alone." My response went something like this: "Maybe it's time to examine your fears and the ways you might be self-sabotaging." I find that my clients aren't always aware that they may be excessively dependent on their partner to feel good about themselves.So what can you do if you are paralyzed by fear or unable to risk leaving a relationship that is unhealthy for you? Fear doesn't go away by itself -- it tends to morph into something else.• Give too much in a relationship: You might even ignore your own self-care or feel that you're being selfish if you take care of yourself.