The Pain of Letting Go Teaching Modesty: Creating a Private Zone Will You Marry Me?Other ways to listen: i Tunes ♦ Stitcher ♦ Tune In ♦ Sound Cloud ♦ Google Play While the numbers are not confirmed, experts agree that divorce rates among parents with special needs children is far higher than the general population.
) In my research, I saw first-hand many couples with unbelievable issues with their blended children and who also worked, ran their kids to various therapies and doctors, yet THEIR relationship was important enough to FIND ways to be together. Even if you don’t agree with something, you do not yell, you don’t leave and not return, you don’t stop calling for weeks or stop making contact. And you let the other person know that you will listen and they can talk with you about anything without fear and with an open mind and an open heart.If you’re like me, this topic makes you say, “Yikes.” There’s something really nerve-wracking about the idea that our special needs child might someday date.This is especially true for parents of children with cognitive disabilities such as Down syndrome, autism spectrum disorders, and so forth.Is this a valid reason to keep looking for a different partner? One of the things I’ve learned over thirteen years of giving advice is this: if I ever dare suggest that someone is entitled to not want to date you, I am perceived as an insensitive asshole. A woman is allowed to not want to date a guy who looks like her father if she doesn’t find him attractive. Which is just my long lead-in to suggest that your concern about the effects of an autistic child on your life is entirely reasonable.If I tell a woman that it’s okay for her not to marry the penniless, 46-year-old, always-between-jobs Peter Pan guy, then those guys will feel I’m denying their basic humanity, when, in fact, all I’m doing is letting the woman know that there are plenty of other fish in the sea that she will not have to financially support. In fact, if you were to not consider the effects of being a stepmother and caretaker to a special-needs child, you could be considered hopelessly naïve.I caught a lot of flak for this post, in which I empathized with a woman who suffers from debilitating depression, but let her know that men were perfectly entitled to choose a healthy, normally functioning partner instead. A quick Google search reveals that the annual cost of autism therapy can exceed ,000 to ,000 per year and that the lifetime cost to support an individual with autism is greater than .2 million.