(The partner was actually a confederate of the experimenters, instructed to act however the students had said they wanted them to.) After the task, the experimenters asked if the students were interested in dating their partner.
It turns out, whether or not a man is actually the guy of your dreams is irrelevant once you’re confronted with the reality of him.
In my college days, many moons ago, I perfected the art of meeting girls online.
Of course, back then, “online” consisted of IRC chat rooms on the IBM Mainframe that connected together the University systems across the state, as well as the online email and electronic bulletin board system that all of the college students used to stay connected to one another. I was painfully shy when meeting new people – bordering on some kind of clinical social anxiety disorder, I’m sure.
What happens is that, once we meet someone, we either forget our list of desired traits or we reinterpret our list to be consistent with the traits of the person we’ve just met.
For example, in the abstract, I might think I want someone exciting and daring who’ll seduce me with wine and inappropriate innuendo. I might say, “I do want someone sexy and exciting, but this guy’s just reckless and sleazy.” It works the same for deal-breakers.
If anything, the science suggests that–once in a committed relationship–people change their view of an ideal mate to an image that more closely matches the object of their love. The more people you meet, the more likely it is that you’ll meet someone who you’re attracted to.
Thus, Eastwick’s best advice for those seeking a relationship is to stop looking for a type and to just get out there and meet people. That’s why Eastwick describes online dating as “great.
But that still left me wondering: Was there anything we , researchers have identified something they call “the Michelangelo phenomenon.” Michelangelo said that, when he looked at a block of raw marble, he could already see the finished sculpture hidden within it.How this plays out online takes time and dedication.He’ll text you first thing in the morning so that he’s the first thing you think about.He’ll text you a sweet “good night” message just before you go to sleep – so he’s the last thing you think about. He claims he’s a repelling expert, with hair-raising stories to boot.He may even be so clever as to learn your work schedule through conversation, and text you the moment you get home. He may even drag you into all-night texting sessions. You mention you’ve taken some photography classes, and he announces he’s an expert photographer with ,000 worth of camera equipment. Rule of thumb is if he sounds too good to be true – if every one of your interests seem to mesh so perfectly into his – it’s probably not true. Some core interests may align, but not usually all. Yet, I still won’t claim I know everything women want. I am not proud of the games I used to play online in my younger years, just to get a date.However, with that increased trust in the online social experience to find a future partner comes an increased risk that you’ll come across a shady character who is not exactly what he makes himself out to be.