If you’re a good listener, your teen will share his or her problems.Your teen doesn’t want you to step in and solve problems – that makes her feel incompetent, and dependent, so she needs to push you away.So it releases their inhibitions, which can be very dangerous.Parents of teenagers frequently tell me that they no longer know how to connect with their children.The website lets anyone see the names, photographs and personal details of boys and girls as young as 13, then post comments or questions on their profile pages that range from insults to sexual advances and threats of violence.The website is based in Latvia, making it even more difficult for police to take action, while its owners dismiss any problems with the site as the result of British and Irish children being more cruel than those from other countries.Get the popcorn popped and enjoy some down time with your teen. Don’t try to make this a regular Friday night thing, or your teen will feel like you’re trying to keep them from social events.A Sunday night movie time when your teen can relax before the upcoming school week and after doing a lot of homework would be ideal.
Richard Piggin, deputy chief executive of the charity Beat Bullying, said: ‘The tool that enables it to be anonymous can facilitate young people to say things that they might not say face to face or if their names were attached to it.
Be specific in your questions to encourage real answers: is one of the easiest ways to stay connected. Make time in your schedule to go to a game or play and enjoy sharing in your teen’s talents. Sometimes you do have to make suggestions for improvement, but you can do those positively. For busy high schoolers, you might offer to read (or maybe re-read) the literature they have been assigned for English class.
But remember, you're not there to help them get better at their activity; that will be perceived as a criticism, and they'll dread riding home with you. In other words, look for what your teen is doing right, at that moment. But it's embarrassing to pick up the phone in front of his friends and talk to his mom. ..involve them in the planning of the menu and the cooking.
Since your teen won't necessarily think what you want to do is fun, that means you'll have to pay attention to what they think is fun and join them.
Having fun together makes it more likely that your teen will want to talk to you. What could be more grown-up than teaching your parents something?
Or you always go for pizza together on Sunday night. Find things that work, and make them happen regularly.