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Medium height, thinning brown hair, nicely dressed and personable, but not immediately magnetic or charming.If he walked into a bar, you’d probably go, “Oh, there’s a white guy.” At our focus group on online dating in Manhattan, Derek got on Ok Cupid and let us watch as he went through his options.If this mentality pervades our decision­making in so many realms, is it also affecting how we choose a romantic partner?The question nagged at me—not least because of my own experiences watching promising relationships peter out over text message—so I set out on a mission.

It struck Ansari as a romantic notion, he said, until he inquired how this pal first found his future wife: searching "Jewish" and his area code.It was the same way, Ansari quipped, that he found a Wendy's a few weeks back.Why he was looking for fast food with the search term "Jewish" went unexplained, but mazel tov to him for somehow locating chicken nuggets by doing so.Eric and I weren’t digging into ­singledom—we were trying to chip away at the changing state of love.Today’s generations are looking (exhaustively) for soul mates, whether we decide to hit the altar or not, and we have more opportunities than ever to find them.People even let me into the private world of their phones to read their romantic texts aloud onstage.

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