According to Gray, women are allowed to contact their partners during this time, but he advises “speaking his language,” a strategy that involves appealing to his sense of being the expert by asking him for help or advice. Here are 3 reasons why you should be very wary of this advice: 1.
Independence is not just for men Attachment theory suggests that a good relationship is one in which partners are always comfortable turning to each other for support.
It is for this very reason that I always encourage women to have an active and engaged social life that reaches above and beyond the relationship she has with her significant other.
Relationships that often are the most successful are the ones where each partner has a strong sense of self.
Jay Jay asks: Do you think men and women actually know what they want in a partner, or is what they actually want different than what they think they want?
John Gray: Often what people think they want in a partner isn’t what they truly need or want.
He refers to this According to Gottman, taking a break during an argument to cool down can be beneficial because it is counterproductive to discuss relationship issues when things get too heated. Are there 'his' and 'hers' types of interdependence?
When a man pulls away because he feels a need for his own space, a woman becomes concerned, and says she wants to talk about his feelings.
However, this is the opposite of what a man wants to do.
Conversely, many researchers have presented the gender which comes from theory that suggests men and women are in fact from the same planet (you may know it as “Earth”) and that most gender differences we do see are actually very small in magnitude. Even if the “rubber band theory” were accurate (which it is not), Gray’s suggestion would ultimately harm relationships Dr.
John Gottman, a couples therapist and researcher (who actually has a legitimate Ph.
Along with his 17 other books, including his bestseller, Mars and Venus on a Date, John’s books have been translated into 45 languages and sold over 45 million copies worldwide.