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Swift’s behaviour over the weekend reminds me of a recent brilliant spoof advice feature on the razor-sharp comedy “woman’s interest” website The Reductress entitled “How to Avoid Negativity Now That You Are Over The Drama You Created”.

The closing moments of “Look What You Made Me Do” feature a cacophony of through-the-years Swift, (country and western Swift, Shake It Off Swift, all-American goddess Swift).

Well, time to get out a notepad and pen because we're here to connect the dots.

The theme of her newest track is—as the title suggests—a "gorgeous" man Swift is pining over.

From the sound of it, Swift is technically unavailable as she references "a boyfriend, he's older than us.

He's in the club doing I don't know what."While you might initially think she's talking about her ex Calvin Harris considering he's a world-famous DJ, Swift's following ex Tom Hiddleston is older by a few years, which makes us think he's the former flame she's referencing.

They are generally most active at 1am addressing the self-created problem of “everyone having an opinion” on them by starting a hundred post long “Thread” drawing attention to “backstabbers everywhere”, despite themselves being “only about love and good vibes”, and this being all a bit rum when considering their charity work and their self-diagnosed bi-polar that they rarely talk about. It is no coincidence that she spent last week dramatically deleting her Instagram accounts in a scorched earth “Nothing to see here! Flouncing on and off social media is the modus operandi of the Swift-a-like.

If you don’t know anyone like this: I’m sorry, you are her.

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"One of Swift’s greatest talents as a songwriter is to encapsulate those small moments, often in a new relationship, that you as a listener cannot.

The gang are insulting the new re-born Swift 2.0 with the sorts of things you hear in gossip columns. All I did was dress up as Katy Perry and wave about a Grammy and now everyone's making it look like I’ve wound up Katy Perry!

It’s all very sixth-form meta and I’m certain Swift hopes this underlines that she is self-aware enough to know and deal with what her detractors say. Taylor Swift’s has made it clear she’s pig sick of everyone talking about her, by ensuring everyone in pop land can talk of nothing else. She is not the Queen of Pop, but she’s a brilliantly accomplished jester.

For further proof, check out these two lines: "You should take it as a compliment that I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk." As many already know, Alwyn has a British accent.

As for "ocean blue eyes looking in mine," guess what color Joe's eyes are? Swift also gives us a clue as to a potential location for this evening in question—"Whiskey on ice, Sunset and Vine." There is one spot we can imagine her sipping on a cocktail at: The Hungry Cat, a seafood restaurant at the corner of Sunset Boulevard and Vine Street in Los Angeles.

Somehow Hiddleston and his mother ended up on a casual “seaside stroll” along Aldeburgh beach with the world’s paparazzi. The last thing she wanted, I am sure, was all that attention. Your husband dated her in sixth form, but she broke his heart and now he just can’t understand why you don’t like her messaging him on Facebook because, come on honey, she is just so harmless!

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