The sugary profiles take a turn for the disturbing when you visit their “Pet Heaven” sections, where users talk about animals who are no longer with them.
Yes, losing a pet is tragic, but nothing is less erotic than seeing someone talk about how much they miss Professor Piddles, the snuggliest little doggy-woggy ever.
13 of the 15 people will be guys, at least one of them will be dressed like a druid and another one will be using a picture of his character.
Again, there’s nothing wrong with trying to share a mutual interest—but if you can’t separate yourself from Lord Thunderdong, your level 85 shaman, then maybe romance shouldn’t be your first priority in life.
You just need to give one of these dating sites a try: Do you love in college and decide you were destined to change humanity? Then you might find love at The Atlasphere, the dating site for hardcore fans of Ayn Rand!
There’s nothing wrong with sharing a mutual interest, but unless you spend your free time writing Ayn Rand fanfiction and trying to convince people that the movie wasn’t terrible it’s probably not the most relevant part of your personality.
(If you don’t understand why this is true, here’s why.) The sites that make the this year’s winning list are going to win based on one single criterion, which I’ve drawn from my recent “What’s the single most important thing in Web Design? The key criterion is: I want to see sites that have been properly thought out, that show intelligent branding and positioning decisions, accessible and compelling copy, sharp audience segmentation, and where the graphic design supports the serious business of marketing.
Finding love is hard, and it’s even harder when you’re only attracted to Asian midgets with Parkinson’s disease and a lisp.
If you like video games so much that you want to fulfill every last stereotype about them, then Datecraft is where you’ll need to look for love.
Based on Face Mate’s example photos, their facial recognition software not only works, it works well: Look at that picture and try to tell us you don’t find it creepy. It looks like one of their faces was cloned and grafted onto the other person’s head. Instead of doing something radical—like lowering your unrealistic standards or trying not to be so shallow—look for a date at Beautiful People, where the only members are those deemed attractive enough to grace the site’s presence.
New applicants submit a picture that’s rated by users of the opposite sex, and if you’re not up to scratch you get rejected.
When you sign up you’re sent a collection kit—just swab your mouth, mail it back, wait for the analysis, then start looking for partners based on mutual results.
It’s all the awkwardness of Internet dating with the added fun of a science project! There are real advantages to dating with science, as explained by the site’s “6 benefits of scientific matching.” The number one benefit?
Users spend more time describing their pets than they do themselves, and they use words like “purrfect” and “nosewiggling” with such reckless abandon that even the Care Bears would be disgusted.