So, if asexuals don’t experience sexual attraction and these people do, why the “umbrella”? Many graces and demis tend to feel alienated by or disconnected from the sex-charged culture that they see around them.
Most of the time, they do not experience sexual attraction, same as asexual people.
“And I was like, ‘Oh no, not at all.’ But I was looking, and I was like – sold!
” But Young had his eye on De Garmo before that moment.
However, most people seem to feel it fairly frequently. Demisexuals are only capable of feeling sexual attraction after they’ve developed a close emotional bond with someone. It sounds like demisexuals are trying to make themselves out to be special because they only have sex with people they love. It doesn’t mean that people are picky about their sexual partners.The time apart was difficult, Young says: “If you love somebody, whenever they’re not around, it sucks.” So when De Garmo’s tour ended last summer, Young found a way to keep her close.“She came to California and kept saying, ‘I’m looking [at] apartments,’ ” he recalls. ’ The moment she got here, she realized I wasn’t going to let her get an apartment. And, thankfully, she was all in.” Adds De Garmo: “I crashed on the couch – more like, I crashed in his bed – and just didn’t leave.” These days, the couple’s not only living under the same roof but working together.Okay, so they’re only sexually attracted to people that they love? Something purely platonic might still be capable of triggering sexual attraction.How long does it take a demisexual to develop sexual attraction after forming the emotional bond? Many demis say that it can take anywhere from months to years to come about. It’s not like there’s a chess timer that starts ticking the moment you meet someone, and if you don’t feel sexually attracted to them by the time the hands go all the way around, you’re not going to. It’s not about what someone does, it’s about what they feel.It’s also important to note that demisexuality is not, in any way, a value judgment against other people.